Leap Day is actually a pretty sad reminder for me. It is not one of my most favorite days. I remember as a child it was considered a fun day, after all it only came around every four years. That little bit of excitement melted away 16 years ago. It is hard to believe that it has been that long. I thought that I would share what happened on Leap Day those many years ago to turn my enthusiasm for the day to one of sorrow, melancholy, but also one of hope.

I was 20 years old and expecting our second child. I developed pre-eclampsia with her and delivered her prematurely. It was severe and we both were at risk of loosing our lives. The doctor's said there is no known cause for this condition. I was an even more peculiar case because this is typically a first pregnancy condition. This was my second pregnancy and I had not had the condition in my previous one. They said many factors could have caused this condition, one of them being stress. I personally think that what occurred on that Leap Day past and the stress that accompanied it contributed to this situation with our daughter. She is a very healthy girl and always has been, the Lord has indeed blessed us!

So what happened, you ask?? I received a phone call from my mother. SIDE NOTE HERE: If you are calling someone with bad news (especially someone who has anxiety) DO NOT begin like this..... "Is your husband there? You need to sit down and have him right next to you before I tell you what is going on. We have some really bad news." Just tell me already! I was severely stressed out just getting ready for the news!

She tells me that they found my uncle. I am thinking, "ok, I didn't know he was missing." I ask if he is ok. The reply was no. ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: per my hubby's professional experience, ministerally and clinically, if someone is dead, say they are dead. It is concrete and doesn't leave people hanging or interpreting.

My favorite uncle had been shot in the back of the head while sleeping and drug to his basement and left there. He had been there a few days before they found him; it was rather gruesome. The time of death was determined by the coroner to be Leap Day, February 29. Pretty much the whole family blamed his teenage son from the very beginning. My husband and I were more gentle. We gave him the benefit of the doubt realizing he had just lost his father. Our graciousness was indeed given to a murdered. They found the gun wrapped in his blue jeans stashed away in his room. My cousin was actually still living in the house with his father in the basement. He was convicted and sent to jail. Just in the last couple of years, he was released on parole.

I have struggled with this greatly over the years for many different reasons. There have been many things about this cousin come to light. Some very heinous things that I do not need to share, but they bring grief upon grief. We seek to explain why things happen, but sometimes we just cannot find the answers. Maybe though the meaning of this is not to seek answers but to seek the Lord instead. He is the answer to our grieving, our heartache, and death.

ANOTHER AMAZING SIDENOTE: As I sit here typing those last lines, the lyrics to the song I am listening to are these.

Give Me Jesus, Give Me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus

And when I come to die
oh when I come to die
and when I come to die
Give Me Jesus!

Give Me Jesus, Give Me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus

I have been to more funerals in my lifetime than I care to really remember. I can say that there is a stark difference between those who know Jesus and those who do not. The difference is HOPE. Those who are not Christians have no hope or they try to cling to false hope which fails them in their time of need. Those who have Jesus as their hope find he never fails them. It is by having this hope in the Lord that we endure and come out stronger. We still must grieve and sorrow still comes but we can rest in knowing that the Creator of all gives comfort, strength, and salvation to those who believe.

Psalm 33:18 Behold, the eye of the is on those who fear him,on those who hope in his steadfast love.

Psalm 31:22 Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

Psalm 33:20-22 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice,for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 130: 4-6 But with you there is forgiveness;therefore you are feared. I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Acts 16:31 And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”

Labels: Christianity, Family, grief, hope, Leap Day, sorrow